Zambian Marriage Traditions

Photo by David.Monniaux

In our earlier article on the subject of Zambian marriage tradition, we talked about various types of symbolic meals that are delivered to the groom by his bride’s family at different stages of the marriage process.

In this particular article we will talk about marriage in accordance to the rich Zambian Tonga tradition. (The Malawian Tonga have a different culture from the Zambian Tonga – Editor)

The Tonga people are found in Southern and Western provinces of Zambia. They are also found in the northern part of Zambabwe and in Mozambique.  Archeological findings show the Tonga in the Zambezi valley as long as 900 years ago. They are one of Zambia’s main tribes.

According to the Tonga tradition, there are two ways in which a man can approach his bride’s parents to propose marriage.

KUTIZYA (Eloping)

According to Gloria Miyoba, a Tonga resident of Lusaka’s Kaunda square, Kutizya is commonly practiced in the villages. A man with an intention to take a wife arranges with his friends or relatives to "ambush" or "abduct"  the targeted girl in the night with or without her consent. In Tonga tradition abducting a girl for marriage is not a crime, provided that the abductor reveals the whereabouts of the girl to her relatives. Tonga men that usually use this method of marriage proposal are those that are shy or fear to profess their love to the girl.

After taking the girl to the groom’s home, his representatives are sent to the bride’s family to inform them that she was in the groom’s custody. The bride’s family then asks the groom to pay a fine for eloping with their daughter as the first payment. Later on, the groom is asked to pay dowry which is known as Kulunga (Making things right).

The dowry takes three forms, which are Chiko, Maamba and Kufwenezya.

CHIKO

Chiko is the bride price which is paid in form of cattle especially in the villages. The bride price for a virgin is valued between 5 and 8 cows. According to Tonga custom, payment of Chiko is important for the groom. A groom who has not paid Chiko cannot have any claim over the children that he may have with his wife. Children, who are born without the settlement of Chiko, belong to the wife.

MAAMBA

Maamba   is the charge for the value of labour that the bride will expend in terms of cultivating her groom’s and her in-laws fields. It is paid in form of cash. In the village, a Tonga woman is expected to help her spouse in cultivating the land. The word maamba means hoes or ox driven ploughs in Tonga, tools mainly used for tilling the land.

KUFWENEZYA

Kufwenezya is the price that the groom pays for the labour that the bride will undergo in cooking for him as a husband and his extended family. In Tonga culture, close and extended families live closely as a family unit. The bride is expected to cook meals for the family. In this process, the bride’s aunt lights up the fire wood and puts a pot of relish which is left to cook. When the relish is cooked and ready, the aunt to the groom is expected to remove the pot from the fire. To do that, she is made to pay some cash. This ceremonial  process is repeated three or four times until the required amount of money is raised.

KUSELA ( Marriage Proposal Through a Representative)

This is a process that is commonly practised in most other Zambian traditions. A man, who chooses to take a wife in a more open manner as opposed to eloping, may send his representative to the bride’s family to inform them about his intentions to marry their daughter. According to common Tonga practice, Kusela is often practiced in urban areas, especially where a Tonga is marrying another tribe.

The first step to be taken is Chijalula mulomo. The other steps explained in the preceding paragraphs may be skipped in the case of intermarriage or may be followed in the event that the marriage is between fellow Tongas.

CHIJALULA MULOMO (Permission to Speak and Propose Marriage)

In most Zambian traditions, the groom or his representatives are not expected to utter any word to the bride’s family without payment of a token in form of cash, which symbolises permission to talk. Before asking for blessings for a hand in marriage and to commence any discussions, the groom’s representatives ask for a hollow small plate where they put in a certain amount of cash which is known as chijalula mulomo.

Upon payment of chijalula mulomo, the groom is asked to pay his bride price which is traditionally valued in form of cattle. Payment in form of cattle happens mainly when both the bride and the groom are Tonga.

In a situation where there is inter-marriage, the bride price may be converted into cash to the total value of the number of cows being demanded for dowry. For example, at the moment, a cows costs between one and half million and two million Zambian Kwacha. If the groom is expected to pay six cows and the value of one cow is Two million Kwacha, then he will be expected to pay twelve million Kwacha as his bride price.

Cattle are a measure of wealth in the Tonga tradition.

A man who has daughters is generally respected, because of the symbolic value that his daughters represent; value that is measured by the number of cattle that he will acquire upon marrying them off.

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