Welcoming the in-laws can be a daunting experience. Welcoming them in a second language adds to the excitement! As in other situations where a person makes an effort to communicate in the other person’s language, this creates a sense of appreciation of the effort you are putting in. You don’t have to be perfect to create this effect. The language forms only a small part of the impact but is still important in showing your feelings.

“Mukwai” is used at the beginning or added on the end of some appropriate sentences as a sign of respect.

In the old days, the in-laws were treated with reverence and one was expected to bow and kneel down when in their presence, rather than standing over them. Hand shakes, let alone hugs, were unheard of. When it came to meal times, their food was served separate from the rest of the family.

These days, people are more relaxed about the etiquette. Respect is revealed through attitude, behaviour and language. My father in-law shook my hand from the very first time we met and we got on so well that he would come and sit next to me, and we would chat and dine together.

Some in-laws may be more liberal in their outlook and yet behave more conservatively for fear of offending their son or daughter in-law who might be expecting to be treated in a more traditional way. They might relax once they reckon that it is safe to do so.

The in-laws may extend their hand for a two-hands hand shake. You would respond with your right hand supported at the wrist by your left hand.

The right hand is used to give something or receive something, again with the left hand supporting the right wrist. Giving something to an older person with one hand or with the left hand may be taken as a sign of disrespect.

It is generally considered rude to point at someone with your finger. A slight gesture in their direction with your upturned open hand is equivalent to pointing at them in a more polite way.

They may opt for a bear hug, depending on their level of comfort with relaxed etiquette. You can get some idea of what to expect by asking those who know them.

One way of showing respect is to the clasping of hands accompanied by a small bow with the head when you approach them.

A warm smile goes a long way.

Focus on the positives and enjoy your time with them. These are precious moments that will last a life time.

Here are some phrases you might find useful:

Welcome Mwaiseni mukwai

We are very happy to see you Tuli nensansa sana pakumimona

I am very happy to see you Natemwa sana pakumimona / Nintemwa sana pakumimona

I was looking forward to meeting you Nalefwaisha sana ukumimona

We were looking forward to meeting you Twalefwaisha sana ukumimona

These are your grandchildren Aba ebeshikulu benu

This is Jane Uyu ni Jane

This is Sam Uyu ni Sam

Jane is 10 years old Jane ali nemyaka 10

The baby(the young one) is 2 years old Uyu munono ali nemyaka ibili

He/she has not yet started school Talatendeka / Talatampa isukulu

Please come in Nabengile mukwai

I want to show you your room Ndefwaya ukumilanga kumuputule wenu mukwai

This is the toilet Iyi eng’anda ikalamba

This is the bathroom Uyu emuputule wakusambilamo

Supper is ready. Please come to the dining table Nimwe ndeita mukwai

What would you like to drink Finshi balanwa mukwai?

We have water Natukwata amenshi

And we have Heineken (beer) Natukwata na Heineken

Let us pray Natupepe

Father in law ba Tata

Mother in law ba Mayo

This is my mother Aba eba mayo

This is my father Aba eba tata

This is my brother Uyu nindume yandi

This is my sister Uyu ninkashi yandi

This is my young brother/sister Uyu mwaice wandi

This is my cousin Uyu mufyala wandi

This is my uncle Aba niba yama

This is my auntie Aba niba muka yama

This is my friend Uyu munandi

Let us all go in Natwingile bonse

I will escort you Nalamishindika

Jane will escort you Jane alamushindika

Please don’t worry Besakamana mukwai / Mwisakamana mukwai

I thank you Natotela mukwai

Do you have other phrases that come to mind? Feel free to share with us below.

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